Erin from SkinnyScoop is one of my favorite bloggers of all time.  Check out this piece on the trials and tribulations of the dreaded Kindergarten application process.  I’m sure there are high school guidance counselors out there not man (or woman) enough to brave these waters … eek!

Kindergarten Craziness

by Erin

Depending on where you live, the strength of your public school system and a host of other factors, you may have the pleasure of going through the private school kindergarten application process.  Among the highlights are:

The School Tour.  During my tour, one mom eagerly raised her hand and, in front of everyone, asked: “How do you handle gifted children?”  Really?  I was just about to ask “Will my child be able to find the bathroom?  How do you handle kids who can’t get there in time?”

Interview / Group Playdate. Picture the most important interview you’ve ever had.  Now picture your four year old answering the questions instead of you.  Not a pretty picture? It was there that my friend Eden (aka SkinnyScoop CEO) watched through a one way mirror as they asked her son “what does your mother do?”  Answer: “She tells secrets to other moms.”   Awesome.

In my case, the “independent” child I talked about in my written application found this interview to be quite unbearable if i wasn’t there to cling to, and by the time they called me to come to the rescue, my number one son had melted into a puddle.

Self Portrait. At some point in the process, your child will likely be asked to draw a self portrait (see image).  My child does not actually have ears on his cheeks, nor is he a vampire.  However, I’m sure the “graders” passed over these small anatomical flaws once they saw his real genius – writing his name in mirror image, which is harder to do than you might think.  I’m not kidding, try it.

Bribes. In your efforts to have your child behave, you will resort to bribery, even though you read somewhere that this is not a preferred parenting practice.  You tell your wee applicant that if he can keep it together, you will take her out for ice cream afterwards.  This is great, except that when you go to pick her up, she says, in front of the head of school, “Mom, can we go get my ice cream now? You promised!”

The process can be incredibly time consuming, not to mention confusing and intimidating.  Kind of makes your college application seem as easy as a BMG Music Club form (11 CDs for $1.00).  Check out Eden’s list of tips, do’s and don’ts to make the experience more pleasurable (or at least less stressful.) Good luck!